Lemon Meringue

This is something that I wrote a few days after my father in law passed away.  Trevor read it at his father's funeral.

Lemon Meringue Pie

(For Dennis.  November 23, 2012)

     Anyone who has ever met my father in law Dennis can tell you that he is a real story teller.  If you’ve spoken to him even once, you may know a few things about his childhood- like the fact that he had Polio and the doctors said that he would not live long-or that he once won a playground fight which gave him a reputation as a bit of a tough guy.  You may have heard the one where he and his brother took an extra long ride on their bikes one day, to the distress of their poor mother- or the one where his father had to wash his mouth out with soap just for trying out a “brand new word”.  But there is one story that has always stood out to me the most.  It’s hard to say exactly why.  It simply goes that young Dennis was not fond of pumpkin pie like the rest of his family, so on holidays, his mother would make him his own pie....Lemon meringue, his favorite.  Maybe I like this story best because it speaks to me of a mother’s love for her son.  Maybe I like it because 50 years later, Dennis’s eyes still lit up like Christmas morning as he said the words: “A whole pie….just for me!”

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     You may already know that a few short months ago, our family was living on the Island of Samoa.  It was truly beautiful there.  We loved the people.  We wore flip-flops everywhere we went.  We ate coconuts every day.  It was a pretty sweet life and we were happy.  Then one day, we got a call from home telling us that Dennis was very sick and did not have long to live.  In 4 days, we sold or gave away everything we had and bought our plane tickets home. 

     In returning, it was hard to see Dennis in his weakened state, but in the mornings, when he was feeling his best, he would be his old self again- making jokes or telling stories.  We felt so grateful to have that precious time with him.

     Then, a few days before Dennis died, when he had almost lost his appetite entirely, when we had watched him suffer for weeks on end, when we had all said our “goodbyes” and our “I love you”s over and over again- there came a sort of gloomy day where it felt like there was nothing more we could do to help him.  I came up with this idea.  I told my children the story about the Lemon Meringue Pie and we all decided to try to make one for Grandpa. 

     My kids were so excited!  Kai squeezed the lemons for juice,  Adah helped me crack the eggs into Grandma’s high speed mixer, and even 3 year old Noah helped by grating the lemon peel.  We were at it for hours!  All the while, Dennis sat in his chair in the corner and alternately dozed and watched all of the craziness.  In the end, we were rewarded with two, gorgeous, tall and fluffy pies that we felt quite proud of.

     As I said before, Dennis had mostly lost his appetite by that time, so I don’t know how much he could really enjoy the taste, but he insisted on eating his pie before his dinner so he could be sure to have enough room.  We thought this was a good sign.  Of course, we all helped ourselves to a big piece of pie as well.  I had never tasted it before.  It was the perfect mix of tart lemon and sweet meringue.  I cried a lot while making and eating the pie, because I hoped that Dennis would understand what we were trying to do and could feel just how much we all loved him.

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     In the few days since his passing, I have taken some time to reflect on the past few months with Dennis.  For my family, it has been a time of upheaval, of relocation, of adjustment.  It has also been a time for family, a time for prayer and a time for priorities.  For Dennis, it must have been a time of trial, a time of pain and emotional suffering.  It would be so difficult to watch your own body betray you in such a way. But I know that for Dennis and Jennene,  the past few months have brought an unprecedented outpouring of love and support from family members who visited and wept and expressed their love, from neighbors-who were as good as family- and stepped in to fill any need, and from Church members who called, visited, brought meals, said prayers and gave blessings. 

      I will never forget waking up on a Saturday morning to find 40 people, young and old, in the back yard mowing, trimming, weeding and pruning.  When everyone was finished and gone, Dennis pushed his walker out into the yard and remarked that he had never seen such a turn out to a ward service project.  It made him feel like a million bucks!

     In the end, it is a little hard to know how to feel about it all.  We are sure going to miss our sweet Grandpa Dennis, but, there has been so much sweetness to balance out the bitterness of this difficult time.  So I guess that is how I will choose to remember it…..bittersweet-like Lemon Meringue Pie.